Nelda Ruiz

Nelda Ruiz: I was raised by older women, and because my family, you know, especially in the in the generation of my great grandmother, especially my grandmother's generation, um, they were trying to set themselves apart from their identity as indigenous women, as indigenous people. So I remember as a young person, especially by seeing the border wall erected, I had all these questions of like, why? You know, like knowing deep down in my soul and my pit of my stomach that it was wrong. And it was like it prevented family members from both sides of my family to be able to cross and connect with each other. So I knew there was something wrong about that, but I couldn't ask those questions as to like why. Um, because my family and when I say family, it's all women. They would just stem away from having those difficult conversations about identity, especially about politics. Like, that wasn't a source of wealth that I could mine at that time, right? Um, so I did a lot of my learning, like, through my own, through my own curiosity, uh, watching the news, reading newspapers as a young person. And when my parents divorced and [How old were you] I was six, I was six, and I would visit my dad. I started driving at a really young age when I was like 12, 13, and my mom would lend me the car and I would drive across the border and the the CBP, the customs people didn't bat an eye when I would cross back. Um, but yeah, I would cross daily also also on foot. Back then it was very accessible and the lines weren't hours long like they are now. You'd literally just cross back and forth. Within an hour you'd go back, you'd go into Nogales, Sonora and then cross back into the Arizona side like very, very quickly. And it was my memories of being able to do that are very beautiful. You know, being able to be immersed, like with my people, I considered like my community in Nogales, Sonora, more my people than my community in Nogales, Arizona, especially because the folks in Nogales, Arizona, um, there's not a lot of opportunity for young people there. And I felt that as a young child, there's only police, border patrol, produce industry, which is really important. You know, in our port of entry in Nogales is one of the one of the port of entries in this country where most of the produce comes from. Uh, so all the produce, that's not all, but the majority of the produce that's consumed in this country comes through that port of entry in Nogales. So it's a big industry. And then the fourth industry is the black market, the Mafia. Um, and they're all like related to each other too. So when I go into . . . those four industries. Also like people in Nogales, not all of them, but the majority like love them and respect those industries. And I always felt a disconnect from all of them. But when I went into Nogales, Sonora, I as soon as I would cross, I'd feel like, oh, like I'm at home. The smells, the sounds, the people. Not even because my dad lived there. Really, it wasn't even my dad. It was just like the land being able to feel safe and see colors and smell foods and hear music that just made me feel really safe and good about being there. And that was my daily routine all the way up into when I started the university in like 2005, 2006. Um, yeah. I was also like a part of a youth group in Nogales, Sonora. All my friends lived in Nogales, Sonora. So that was like my main nucleus.

Nelda Ruiz: Um, and also when I was growing up as like definitely under six years old, from 1 to 6, 1 to 7, um, I was going to Hermosillo a lot and actually like one through six because we brought my great grandmother over when I was 6, 7. Um, but I was raised she had an outdoor kitchen, and she lives she lived in this neighborhood in Hermosillo called El Ranchito. And it was back then it was like, uh, dirt floors, dirt streets. There was no concrete yet. Um, it was always seen as like the poor ghetto part of Hermosillo. It still is. And I have these vivid memories of being there in the summer and waking up in this creaky wooden bed and being awoken by the smell of mesquite burning, and she would tend her fire outside in her outdoor kitchen and cook a big pot, hoya of frijoles for the day and make tortillas de harina. Sobaqueras, which are the big, big tortillas de harina. If you have never had them, you definitely should. I'll hook you up with some. [Laughter] Um, but you use, like, your whole arm to stretch the dough and make them these beautiful, pliable vessels to carry other delicious ingredients. And she would take care of her matitas, her little plant seedlings in different coffee mug sizes, different cans. And I always had this visualization of her, like taking care of the fire, tending the fire, tending her non-human relatives, which were the seedlings, and always being so careful in how she took care of everything. And I think that is what really like. I think that was the initial seed of resistance of even though I didn't really see that from my from my own mother of just how to take care of community, of people, of your loved ones. And that stayed really instilled in me up until this day. And I think, um, I carried that ganas that want, that desire to take care of community, you know.

Nelda Ruiz: So I ended up spearheading some of the the organizing between neighborhood moms. So back then, Tierra y Libertad was very focused on youth organizing and youth as their center. And when I came around and I think, honestly, it's because of my ties to just like elders and women that I've had my whole life, moms in the barrio just like gravitated towards me. And we all decided, like, the moms wanted their own space outside of the youth. So on Wednesday nights, we organized what we called a barrio comite meeting, which was a space for moms in the neighborhood to come together and talk about what they were going through a safe space, you know, topic to be determined every week. But there was always a.

Nelda Ruiz: Yeah. You know, like I, um, I don't like to be like the center of attention or be like, glorified or like as I'm saving someone or a community, you know, like, I'm very much about that horizontal leadership, you know, and like, I, I, I'm not carrying anything like I'm a reflection of my community. And my community is a reflection of me, you know, and it's like all this incredible work has happened because of them, not because of me. Um, I'm just like a little puzzle piece, you know, in the. I'm a little, uh, piece in the, in the larger chessboard. But the community since the beginning gave me the privilege of trusting me with their stories, with their problems, as seeing me as a place to be able to obtain or connect them with the resources needed for them to thrive, to be healthy, to be safe, to be good. And yeah, I am still in relationship with those families since 2010. And it goes beyond just like attending a meeting together, right? But attending their babies birthday parties, their graduations, their khanzadas. And that's what I mean by like, building trust that it's been such a it is such a long process. But if we are committed and really truthful about bringing forth change, like that's what the work is, it's building relationships and building trust vice versa, right? A reciprocal relationship between the community and I, where I also can trust them with whatever I'm going through, with struggles, with problems, where I also reach out to them for support, with resources that I may not be connected with. But it is. All this work has been possible because of that building of trust.